Integrating Compassion with the Wisdom of God’s Word


The purpose of Aunt Dara’s Christian Advice Column is to glorify God by addressing human needs with compassion and the wisdom of God’s word.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Unsure about Relationship Because Boyfriend Focuses on Business Matters

Dear Aunt Dara,
I met a wonderful Christian man online.  We have been talking 4 months.  We live in different states but talk by phone daily and he has come to visit me once.  We plan to see each other again in July.  We were born exactly one day apart the same year, so sometimes I feel I am talking to my twin.  We get along great.  We inspire each other and he has all the qualities I want in a man.

Here is the issue: We have begun to get involved in a couple of businesses together and all he seems to want to talk about is business and making money.  I love the friendship we are building, but I'm not sure if he is still romantically interested.  I seem to be the only one to change the subject, and I noticed I am the one initiating our getting together.  I invited him see me both times.  When I asked him last week when I would see him again, he said he was "waiting for an invitation."  I initiate all of our dates on Skype.  I feel I am chasing him and did not realize it until now.  He always responds with enthusiasm when I suggest getting together, but I think I have gone too far.  I need to know his real intentions toward me and the future and cannot seem to find the words.  Why is it so hard? 

Needing Help for a Long-Distance Christian Romance 

Dear Long Distance Romance, 

I think that it is hard for you to find the right words to see if he is still romantically interested in you because you have hopes that he is, but fear that he may not be. When reading your letter, it is difficult to get a feel of your relationship. Is it a romantic relationship, a friendship, a business partnership, or some combination of those three? Women usually feel more comfortable talking about relationships than do men. Perhaps a non-threatening way to approach the topic is to ask, "What is your vision for our future?" If his answer focuses on the business relationship, that should tell you something.

I hope this helps.

God bless,
Aunt Dara

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