Integrating Compassion with the Wisdom of God’s Word


The purpose of Aunt Dara’s Christian Advice Column is to glorify God by addressing human needs with compassion and the wisdom of God’s word.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

She’s Afraid to Tell Her Parents About Her Boyfriend

Dear Aunt Dara,

I am 24 and have been dating a 39-year-old man.  He has an 8-year-old son and has never been married.  We appear to be very compatible and have many common interests.  I enjoy the time I spent with him and his son.  However, my closest friends do not support our relationship.  We've been seeing each other for 6 months now and I have not told my parents.  Part of the reason I have not told them is because I can already predict what they will say and think.  He is a great guy, really easy-going, considerate, intuitive, and kind.  We became good friends at first, and then it lead to dating.  Now I need to figure out where this is going.  Do you have any advice?

Wondering about the Future 

Dear Wondering, 

Thanks for writing to me.  Unfortunately, I can identify two huge red flags in your situation.  First, your closest friends don't support your relationship.  Secondly, you have kept this relationship secret from your parents due to your concern that they will react negatively.  If he really is as wonderful as you describe, then why would your friends disapprove, and why are you afraid of your parents' reaction?  If the only concern is the age difference, then your parents should be glad that you have found someone who is a great guy, considerate, easy-going, intuitive, and kind, even if he is 15 years older than you are.  So, where do you see this going?  If you are too afraid to let your parents know about him, then I don't see this relationship going anywhere that would be good or healthy.

God bless,
Aunt Dara