Integrating Compassion with the Wisdom of God’s Word


The purpose of Aunt Dara’s Christian Advice Column is to glorify God by addressing human needs with compassion and the wisdom of God’s word.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Worried about His Wife’s Mixed Gender Sleeping Arrangement on a Trip without Him

Dear Aunt Dara, 

I would value some advice.  My lovely and attractive Christian wife is very friendly with another (non-Christian but very nice) lady who is into mountain hiking.  As a result, my wife goes to visit her in the mountains for a long weekend every year.  Up to now this has just involved day-trips out in the snow from a fixed base.  But this year the friend is planning a stay all night in mountain, in huts with mixed-sex dorms.  Having looked online, these are generally where men and women sleep right next to each other on one long sleeping platform.  I do not feel at all comfortable about this, but am I just being worrying needlessly?  My wife says it is okay.  She said the mountaineering community seem to do it all the time, but I just don’t feel right about it and I don’t feel right about my wife doing this.  As a man, I frankly cannot see why men would stop thinking like men do about women, just because they are up a mountain!  Additionally, I just don’t feel it is right to be sleeping together with other men in this way.  I am told that no undressing occurs, but I cannot believe there is a firm guarantee of that!  I trust my wife, but we just don’t seem to be on the same page on this topic!  Am I just being silly in my unhappiness about this situation?  I would appreciate your considered thoughts.  

Thanks and God bless,
Country Boy 

Dear Country Boy,

No, you are not being silly.  You are being wise and sensible.  The Bible tells us to avoid even the very appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22), and that would certainly apply to this situation.  Even if nothing happened between these individuals sharing sleeping quarters, at the very least it would give rise to the possibility of immorality and damage your wife's Christian influence.  A Christian must always guard ones’ reputation and demonstrate a life of purity by not placing oneself in situations that will give others a reason to accuse one of sin (1 Timothy 5:22; 1 Peter 2:11-12). 
A Christian woman must remain chaste and obey her husband (Titus 2:5).  Please reason with your wife and explain your concerns.  Hopefully, she will change her mind.

God bless,
Aunt Dara