Integrating Compassion with the Wisdom of God’s Word


The purpose of Aunt Dara’s Christian Advice Column is to glorify God by addressing human needs with compassion and the wisdom of God’s word.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Is it Time to Give up on Love?

Dear Aunt Dara, 

I am 26 years old and I have never been in a relationship nor have I been on a real date or even been kissed.  Though I may not be the world's most beautiful woman, I am not ugly.  I have a good personality and many supportive friends and family.  I have many great qualities, and I thought being single wasn't such a bad thing.  All my life I have had great guy friends, but I have never been pursued by any.  On several occasions, these friends seemed to date everyone in my friend (and even family) circles, but never expressed an interest for me. 

I have had many sleepless nights and teary eyes trying to figure out my problem.  What is so wrong with me that no one could love me?  As I watch my siblings sustain their relationships and began to marry, I can feel the sting.  My parents and siblings tell me I am too picky and that my standards are too high, and that may be somewhat true.  I have never had a guy knocking at my door wanting to date me.  What is the problem?  What makes me so un-loveable?  At this point, is it time to give up on love? 

Single Gal

Dear Single Gal,

Please do not lower your standards just to get a boyfriend or husband.  You may get a boyfriend sooner by doing that, but not the one that God has intended for you.  A man who is worth having is one who is worth the wait.  Sometimes God brings the right man into our lives when we are very young, and sometimes He doesn't bring the right man into our lives until we are much older.  If you try to hurry things by lowering your standards, you will get a sub-standard man.  Is that the kind of man that you want to spend the rest of your life with?  Is that the kind of man that you want to be the father of your children?  Probably not.

Please do not blame yourself because God has not brought the right man into your life yet.  You are loved, very much, and God sees your tears.  Being loved by the right man has nothing to do with how pretty you are.  Every woman is precious and beautiful in the eyes of the man who loves her.  You are precious and beautiful in God's eyes, so let Him love you.  Then, if God wills, He will make you precious and beautiful in the eyes of the man who is right for you.

Don't rush it.  Don't compromise your standards.  Don't settle for a sub-standard man.   For more information, please refer to my posting on 8/16/2012 titled "Wondering when she will meet her Future Husband."

God bless,
Aunt Dara