I'm very obsessed with nerd culture. I enjoy science fiction movies and books, video games, and Japanese cartoons, and I enjoy collecting merchandise from series I enjoy. I research everything on Christian review websites before I buy, watch, play or read them. I also enjoy creating artwork of my favorite characters. Last year for Christmas at my uncle's house, I put mostly fan merchandise on my Christmas list, such as t-shirts or figurines featuring my favorite characters. My uncle ordered all the presents from Amazon, but I ended up with a bunch of items from series I don't watch (including one that was very immoral) and that I can't use. It was a huge embarrassment for everyone. Anyway, Christmas is fast approaching, and I don't want a repeat of what happened last year. My mom suspects that my uncle ordered things from the "recommended" section next to my Amazon list. One thought I had for this year was to list two or three franchises I like and several types of items I collect, but then I realized he could run into the same problem as with the Amazon wish list. Then I thought about asking for gift cards, but I have such a hard time deciding what to get with them, and my uncle really doesn't like going to the mall, which is where most of the stores I shop from are located. One person suggested that I put in the product numbers for what I want, but that seems a little rude (also, she's older and I don't think she understands Amazon very well). I thought about asking for art supplies, but I have very specific things I need for my artwork, which could be a problem. I thought about asking for devotionals, but I have several different theological beliefs than they do. Do you have any advice about what I should do, or should I just be grateful with whatever I get, even if I can't use it or it's not from a show I watch? What's the best socially acceptable thing to do? Thanks!
Much ado about Christmas
Dear Much ado about Christmas,
Thank you so much for asking me about this! This is an
excellent question and a very timely one. I am sorry that things did not
work out well for you last Christmas and that your gifts from your uncle were
inappropriate and embarrassing. He probably had no clue that his gifts
weren't appropriate, and he probably would have been very sorry had he known
that you were embarrassed.
Gift buying can be very stressful for many people. Some people appreciate having a wish list or a gift registry because it relieves some of the stress about what to get. Other people may be put off by gift registries or wish lists because they would rather give a gift that they chose rather than what the recipient chose. (It makes the gift seem more personal if they choose it themselves). Many people realize that their tastes differ from that of the recipient, and therefore they will include a gift receipt so that the recipient can easily exchange the gift. Other people would be offended if the recipient exchanged their gift. So you see, there are many different views about what is appropriate regarding gift giving and receiving. Regardless of the different views about gifts, they all have these things in common:
Gift buying can be very stressful for many people. Some people appreciate having a wish list or a gift registry because it relieves some of the stress about what to get. Other people may be put off by gift registries or wish lists because they would rather give a gift that they chose rather than what the recipient chose. (It makes the gift seem more personal if they choose it themselves). Many people realize that their tastes differ from that of the recipient, and therefore they will include a gift receipt so that the recipient can easily exchange the gift. Other people would be offended if the recipient exchanged their gift. So you see, there are many different views about what is appropriate regarding gift giving and receiving. Regardless of the different views about gifts, they all have these things in common:
1. The giver is under no obligation to give any gift at all, so when he or she gives something, they are expressing that they thought of the recipient and they wanted to express their thoughts of them in a tangible way.
2. Because gifts are not compulsory and they symbolize that the giver is thinking of the recipient, the recipient should always respond with gratitude. So, regardless of whether or not the recipient likes the gift, the recipient should always respond with, "Thank you so much" or "Thank you for thinking of me."
The Amazon wish list is very convenient and straightforward, so I really don't know what happened with your uncle last year that he ordered from Amazon but not what you had on your wish list. I can understand your frustration and your desire to not repeat what happened last year. Your uncle could give you an Amazon gift card, and that way you can buy things on your wish list yourself. Amazon also sells gift cards for several other merchants, so your uncle might
be able to place an Amazon order for a gift card for one of the stores that you like. If your uncle doesn't like the idea of giving a gift card (and many people don't) and would rather give you something that he picks out, go ahead and put devotionals on your list. I realize that your theological beliefs do not align with those of your family, but Christian devotional books do not teach sectarian doctrines. Devotional books focus on God's love, mercy, grace, goodness, and other such themes that are common to all Christians.
God bless,
Aunt Dara
