Integrating Compassion with the Wisdom of God’s Word


The purpose of Aunt Dara’s Christian Advice Column is to glorify God by addressing human needs with compassion and the wisdom of God’s word.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

A Student in Love with His Teacher

Dear Aunt Dara,

I have had several crushes but never a girlfriend.  I'm in love with my instructor and it's just making me miserable!  I know ethically it is wrong so I'm polite to her and pretty much leave her alone, but confess that it hurts that she's either not into me or simply might not like me.  If history taught me anything it's that I end up feeling resentful, hurt, and disappointed when a special lady rejects me.  I guess either I'm unlovable or nothing good happens to me.  It's nice when there's a happy ending but it would be so sweet if it happened to me for once.  For now I intend to give a thank you card for the semester.  I put some time in decorating and writing it so I hope she likes it and it makes her happy. 

Hoping for Love in Return

Dear Hoping for Love,

Hopefully, I can shed some light on this for you.  The reason that your instructor is not showing you any sign that she likes you is this:  She is a paid professional who is doing her job—teaching students—and you are a student.  For her to become personally involved with a student would not only be unethical, it would place her job in jeopardy.  In other words, she could be disciplined by her employer up to and including being fired.  So, you must understand that a sweet card from you will get you nowhere because she is unavailable.

True love means that you put the other's interests ahead of your own desires. That is why the Bible tells us to consider the needs of others (Philippians 2:3-4).  If you really care for your instructor, you will let her do her job and find someone else who is available to you.  
God bless,
Aunt Dara