I am confused about the behavior of one of my
friends. She teaches a ladies’ Bible
class at a church where I was a member for almost a year. She frequently describes herself as a devout
Christian and a godly woman. She says
she has superior Bible knowledge, and the ladies in her class admire her and
look up to her for advice and guidance on how to be a godly woman. She and I had become good friends. We both liked to cook and exchange recipes,
and we went on shopping trips together. I
never hesitated to discuss my problems with her and I valued her input. Then things changed about three months ago when
she said during one of her classes that it is sinful for Christians to
participate in politics in any way. She
said we are citizens of heaven and we must be separate from the world and not
have anything to do with anything remotely patriotic or political. She had some very harsh things to say about
Christians who vote in elections. (My
grandfather was a state senator back in the 1960s and I was raised to believe
that it is our Christian duty to elect representatives who respect Christian
values and who will enact laws that honor God.)
Since open discussion is encouraged in her class, I spoke up and said
that I disagree with her and I explained why.
She just turned her head away from me and continued to talk against Christians
having any kind of political involvement.
A week later, I moved 90 miles away to begin a new job. I tried to keep in contact with her through
Facebook Messenger, but she never replied to any of my messages and she stopped
liking and commenting on my Facebook posts.
Two weeks ago, I went back to that church and attended
her class. She totally ignored me. She never even looked in my direction. I was so hurt that I just left without trying
to talk to her. When I got home, I
messaged her and asked her why she has been ignoring me. She replied that I was disrespectful to her
when I disagreed with her on politics. I
responded back that I don’t recall saying anything that was disrespectful to
her, and she replied, “That’s what they all say,” and then she blocked me. She blocked me! I don’t get it. Is it disrespectful to express a different
opinion or to disagree with a Bible teacher?
How can a mature, devout, godly Christian with superior Bible knowledge
just cut off another Christian for seeing things differently? And why did she just cut off communication
with me instead of discussing it with me?
Hurt and Confused
Dear Hurt and Confused,
I can see how you could be
confused about her behavior and I understand how much the loss of a friendship
is hurtful. I can’t say for sure why she
is treating you this way. Human behavior
is difficult to explain. However, I do
have some observations.
You ask, “Is it disrespectful to
express a different opinion or to disagree with a Bible teacher?” The answer is no. It is quite normal for Christians to have
differing views because no two people think exactly alike. In any disagreement, one must ask, “What does
the Bible say about it?” If the Bible
does not say anything about a topic, then it falls into the category of
opinion. The Bible in Romans chapter 14 refers
to these as “disputable matters” (NIV) or “doubtful things” (NKJV). Does the Bible address a Christian’s involvement
in politics and government? No, not
specifically, so both sides of the issue may have valid points. The Bible does say that we are citizens of
heaven (Philippians 3:20) and we are to be separate from the world (2
Corinthians 6:17), so the teacher is right about that. However, that does not mean that Christians
are to deny, ignore, or renounce their earthly citizenship and the rights and
privileges that come with it. After the
apostle Paul became a Christian, he did not renounce his earthly citizenship and
the rights afforded to him by that citizenship (Acts 22:22-29, Acts 25:1-12). Christians during the First Century did not
live in a democratic society that gave them a voice in their government, but if
they had, Paul likely would have used his citizenship right and privilege to
vote in elections. However, that teacher
does not see it that way, and the Bible doesn’t specifically address the issue. If she believes that it is a sin for
Christians to vote, for her it is a sin (Romans 14:23).
You ask, “How can a mature,
devout, godly Christian with superior Bible knowledge just cut off another
Christian for seeing things differently?”
Having superior Bible knowledge is not an indication that a person is a
mature, devout, godly Christian. Spiritual
maturity is evident in how a person behaves.
The spiritually mature Christian will demonstrate the qualities found in
Galatians 5:22-23, Ephesians 4:25-32, 2 Peter 1:5-9, and many other scriptures.
When faced with a differing opinion
during a Bible class, a mature Christian would say something like, “That’s an
interesting point and we can talk about that some more after class.” Unfortunately, public disagreements are one
of the problems that can result with open discussion Bible classes. Ideally, a Bible class teacher should stick
to what the Bible actually does say without going beyond what is written.
You ask, “Why did she just cut
off communication with me instead of discussing it with me?” Discussing it with you would have been the
appropriate response for a spiritually mature Christian, but apparently she has
not developed to that point yet.
Evidently, she is an insecure person who has an emotional need to be
held in esteem and recognized as a “devout Christian” and a “godly woman” with “superior
Bible knowledge.” Consequently, she
views any disagreement as a blow against the image that she tries so hard to
maintain. You are not the first person
she has cut out of her life. She has
done this to multiple people as evidenced by her statement, “That’s what they
all say.” By blocking you, she made it
clear that she will not accept any further communication from you, so the best
thing to do at this point is to pray for her.
God bless,
Aunt Dara
