Should She Give Him a Second Chance?

Dear Aunt Dara, 

I am having some mixed feelings and I need to straighten up a lot of things in my life, including my relationship status.  I have been talking to a young man for 6 months while I was away at school.  He seemed to be greatly interested in me and things were going in the right direction.  I truly felt as if I found the one for me until last month when I came home from school.  I was so excited to get to see him and finally go on some dates with him, but he was always busy with work.  He works evening shifts.  It became really frustrating because he would agree to meet me but never follow through.  Then I stopped hearing from him and didn’t hear from him for weeks.  It wasn’t until last week he texted without saying he was sorry or giving any explanation that he wanted to see me.  He still keeps texting me and he told me to give him a second chance and that he was getting his life together in order to be with me without any problems.  I don’t want to be making excuses for him because I know we all get busy in life, but I think that if you really like a girl you would make sacrifices to be with her, even if it means you tried.  Do you think I should give him a second chance?  Is he even worth my time?   

Also, I had been talking to a young man when I was at school.  He also likes me, but said he wants to see how things work out between us.  He said he wants to be friends first, then if it goes well become exclusive.  However, I am afraid that he will lose interest in me because I am back home and he lives so far away.  Do you think this guy is serious about me?  

Thanks,

Confused and Still Single 

Dear Confused and Still Single, 

It sounds to me as if you have already given the first guy a chance, and he wasn't interested.  He was too busy to get together with you, he would agree to meet up with you and then back out, and then he cut off contact with you.  When he did contact you again, he did not apologize nor explain.  Most significantly, he did not explain what he meant when he said that he is getting his life together so that he can be with you without any problems.  My gut says that you should run away from this guy because you are a very low priority to him and he is too secretive.  I could be wrong, but it sounds as if he has another woman and they are having problems, so you are his backup girl.  You deserve better than that.  Don't allow yourself to be anyone's backup girl and don't go chasing after any guy who won't make you his priority. 

Regarding the other guy at school, keep in contact with him and be his friend.  Wait and see what comes of it.   

God bless,

Aunt Dara