I am 25 years old and my boyfriend is 45 years old. He has a sad past and now he has health
issues. I love him and I want to give
him a happy life, but I'm worried that I will be left alone with my children
one day due to our age differences, and I am afraid that my children will
suffer without a father. I am not sure
if I can be strong enough to face the world as a single mother. Also, I truly don't want to hurt him deeply
because when I see him hurt, I hurt too.
I don’t want to leave him suffering. I feel like a bad person if I don’t marry him
and I do love him, but I’m afraid things will go wrong with the passing of
time. He is a very kind man and he would
be a great husband. I made a lot of mistakes
when he was in the hospital, but he is faithful and forgiving. Additionally, my parents and friends don't
approve of our relationship, and they warn me that our marriage will not work
out. I would have married him already if
I didn't have this strong gut feeling inside me and warnings from parents and
close friends. I’ve prayed about it, but
I still have a gut feeling. I tried to
deny it because he is so kind, loving, and caring, and I love him deeply. I am so confused. If this gut feeling is from God, why would
God try to prevent me from marrying him?
I don’t want to be alone again, and it will be harder if I have raise my
children alone. I’m confused and unable
to decide whether to marry him or not. If
I decide not to marry him, does that make me a selfish person or bad or
evil? I feel so guilty if I don’t marry
him. I do love him but I can’t ignore my
gut feeling. What should I do?
Confused
Dear
Confused,
Thank you so much for writing to me
and trusting me with your situation. I believe that God can speak to us
in many ways, including through His written word (the Bible), through godly
advice from other Christians, and through the leadings of the Holy Spirit—what
you refer to as your gut feeling. For you to be able to make the right
decision, you must listen to what God is trying to tell you through the
scriptures, through godly counsel, and through your own inner voice. If
you feel anxiety and confusion when you think about marrying this person, then
marrying him is NOT the right thing to do. When you have made the right choice, you will
feel peace. If you believe that your gut feeling is from God, then
perhaps the reason God is trying to prevent you from marrying this man is
because God is trying to tell you not to do it. You are not selfish, bad
or evil for not marrying someone. If you have made mistakes, then repent
and pray
for forgiveness. Do not complicate the situation by making another mistake.
Marriage will not ease a guilty conscience.
Also, I believe that you are confusing compassion with love. Having compassion for someone and wanting to do something to ease their pain is not the type of love that can be the foundation of a marriage. A marriage based on compassion or pity cannot last. In the long run, this marriage could end up hurting both of you.
God bless,
Aunt Dara
Also, I believe that you are confusing compassion with love. Having compassion for someone and wanting to do something to ease their pain is not the type of love that can be the foundation of a marriage. A marriage based on compassion or pity cannot last. In the long run, this marriage could end up hurting both of you.
God bless,
Aunt Dara
